Dignity versus freedom.

God loves us so much that He gives us the power to choose.  Doesn't that just blow your mind to smithereens? We choose if we are going to worship Him.  We choose to do the right thing.  We choose to be generous or selfless.

One of these choices could also involve our response to Him when He asks us to do things like: 

DANCE

SING

SHOUT

LIE ON YOUR FACE

TELL SOMEONE YOU DON'T LIKE HOW MUCH I LOVE THEM

and the list goes on....and just when you think you're the king or queen of obedience, He sends you a new one!

I came face to face with this one last week.  My sister Kate was leading a time of worship when she said that we need to grab hold of the promise we have from God and send up a victory shout!  I joined in half-heartedly as we yelled up to Heaven, when I suddenly came face to face with the reality of what do I want more?  Do I want to remain 'sain looking and yell in a lady like manner' or do I actually want my victory no matter what I sound like?

The battle rages in every heart when we come face to face with being uncomfortable.  Do we join in half-heartedly so we don't look like we're not participating, or do we give it all we've got and loose a bit of our pride in the process?

My moment came when I suddenly decided WHO CARES!!!  I want my victory and I want it now, in this moment!  I ran into the centre of our lounge yelling and screaming and grabbing at the air - crazy like!  But I meant it with all I had.  And I know something happened for me and my promise that night.

The cost?  Not much now that I compare the two.

Keep my dignity and loose my freedom?  No way!

I think I may be turning into one of those 'crazy Christians' who I used to look at funny and think "bless them Lord, for they know not what they are doing."  Ha ha!

Unlearning

Hi everyone.  Well we've had four worship nights so far.  I thought I would be blogging like crazy, or at the least doing a write up once a week of how the night has gone.  But I'm finding myself at a loss for words.

This blog is entitled 'Unlearning'.  And that's exactly where I am finding myself during our worship nights.  I'm totally undone.  My mind is blown.  My formula (which has taken years to perfect) of how to lead worship - it has no place here.  I'm continually having conversations in my head that say:  "what on earth are you doing?"  and  "what next?"  and  "this is crazy!"  I have no one to ring for advice either!  So I'm learning and unlearning as each night progresses.

People ask us how it is all going and all I can say is that it's hard to describe.

I am learning to listen to Him for each step.  What songs to sing.  When to be quiet.  When to wait.  When to press in.  It all seems so new and so unfamiliar - but SUCH FUN!!!  I came into this thing determined not to prepare songs, or even to pray beforehand about how the night would go.  Because I'm a person who lives the quote:  If you fail to prepare, you prepare to fail!  Well, goodbye quote.  We want it totally to be Him.  Striving has no place here.

We have been so surprised at how God has moved, and how different every night has been.  Each person who comes brings a different dynamic to the night and carries something so beautiful in worship that every night has been a totally new experience.

To 'know' God is not only to have an intellectual knowledge of Him.  To 'know' means to experience who He is.  And I see how He is tuning us in to His heartbeat.  Every night has not been about us.  God has visited us with His love and then in turn we've been burdened for the nation.  For our unsaved friends and families.  For revival. For people....God loves people...

There's been like a cycle of worshipping Him, His response to our worship (and that has been crazy!!), then our response to His love...and so on....

Our group will be shrinking soon with a couple of lovely girls heading off to uni.  So if you're keen to come along get in touch with me.

"I want to know You, let Your Spirit overwhelm me.  Let Your presence overtake my heart."

My Disclosure

First of all, an apology for me not being a blog nerd yet and getting things sorted so you guys can actually READ the blog and comment!!!  Any design tips would be much appreciated!

I want to say that the worship nights (although new to me), are not a brand new idea!  They did it in the days of old as they met together, communed together and listened to the disciples teachings.  People all over the world are doing this in their homegroups, in extended church services etc.  So please hear my heart here - I'm not 'owning' this as a new idea at all!  It's just taken me this long to get on board with what God is doing.

Another thing I'd like to say is that I'm not advertising this as a new 'program' or really a 'homegroup'.  It is very laid back and casual (something God is personally teaching me - a planner, and one who likes to know what comes next!).  This is merely a worship night for those who want to encounter God, learn more about worshipping Him, and be around like minded people to learn from eachother.  It does require expectancy, perserverance and a pursuit of Him.  As we've taken the time limits off, anything from 2 hours of worship is how it goes!!

Can anyone come along?  Yes of course anyone can come along!!  As our little lounge isn't the biggest, obviously there is a maximum of about 10 people.  So get in touch with me if you are keen (even if you just want to try it and see what the fuss is all about), and I'll let you know if there is a space of carpet for you.  :)

Do I have to commit to every week?  Of course not.  Like I said, it's not a homegroup as such.  So if you can only come once a month, or once every two weeks that's fine. 

Do I have to be a muso or worship leader?  NO, absolutely not!  Just a worshipper.

Do I have to stay for the whole night?  No, you can come and go when you need too.  As most of the people who come have jobs to go to the next morning, we've left it open for people to leave whenever they need to.

Where is this heading?  I've been really challenged by this question lately, and although there is the potential for this to become really big, I would love to see little worship nights spring up all over Whangarei.  There is something very precious about a small group of people getting together.  And I'd hate to loose that over it becoming a mid-week church service with a band etc.  All you need is a guitar and a couple of songs up your sleeve and you're away - so I'm encouraging YOU (yes you, you cute little worship leader reading this.  Start one up in your home too, and see what God has in store.)

I hope this answers a few questions.  Feel free to private message me on facebook if you want to know more.

More to come on lastnights worshipping!!!!  Oh my was it mind blowingly good....

I'm back!  After a couple of years of no blogging, I've decided it's time to start a new one, with a different purpose.  This blog is going to focus mainly on what God is up to in worship.

I began this year with this thought:

"I wonder what God could do with a bunch of people who are keen to worship Him, with no time limits, no restraints and go beyond just singing..?  To give Him full access to our hearts.

So with pure curiosity and eagerness, we have started having weekly worship nights at our house.  I'm hoping to blog a bit about the revelations, experiences and encounters we have with our God.  So far after two nights, we have experienced His joy, sung new songs over our city and nation and just sat in His presence asking for His glory to invade our lives.  We have laughed, danced, cried and stood in awe in His amazing presence - but I know there is more yet to come.

My prayer is that this blog will encourage you to seek His face more.  To hunger and thirst after Him more.  To know Him more - and in turn, to make Him known more.

So I invite you to journey with me, with us as we give Him full access to our hearts this year!!!